Gabrielle Hartley helped to resolve hundreds of high-conflict matrimonial matters when clerking for Judge Sunshine in the early 2000s. After working for the court, she trained as a mediator. She has helped countless families move beyond entrenched conflicts and reach reasonable resolutions, even when it feels like it is going to be impossible. She has a strong track record of resolving cases that otherwise linger or persist in an argument loop.
We asked her how her expertise informs her approach on the American Arbitration Association® Mediation Panel.
What motivated you to pursue mediation, and were there personal influences or professional experiences that shaped your path to joining the AAA?
I was lucky enough to have parents who divorced well at a time when that was very rare. After working in the courthouse and seeing first-hand how relentless the litigation process can be, I realized what an important role a knowledgeable neutral can play in helping families create a positive future for themselves and for their children.
What do you value most about serving as a mediator with the AAA, and what aspects of the work do you find most meaningful for the parties you serve?
What I value most about serving as a mediator is helping people find a way forward during some of the most difficult moments of their lives. Conflict can leave people feeling overwhelmed, unheard, and uncertain about the future. I love helping them move from that place toward clarity and resolution. As an attorney and experienced family and divorce mediator, I understand how important it is for parties to feel heard while also making meaningful progress. The most rewarding part of my work is watching people who arrived feeling stuck begin to see possibilities they hadn't considered. Helping people reach agreements they can live with, while preserving their dignity and relationships whenever possible, is what makes this work so meaningful to me.
How has your previous experience as an attorney, arbitrator, judge, or in another professional role shaped your approach to mediation?
My experience as a former court attorney, practicing lawyer, and longtime mediator has given me a deep appreciation for both the legal and human sides of conflict. I understand how litigation works, what can happen when disputes remain unresolved, and how much people stand to gain by finding their own solutions. I've spent much of my career helping families navigate divorce, financial disagreements, parenting disputes, and other emotionally charged situations. My legal background helps me identify the issues that matter, ask the right questions, and keep discussions focused on practical, workable outcomes. As a former Co-Chair of the ABA's Mediation Committee and an author and educator in conflict resolution, I've also had the opportunity to think deeply about what makes mediation effective. I bring that experience to every case, along with a genuine belief that even difficult disputes can be approached with intelligence, creativity, and respect.
How do you approach the mediation process, and what strategies do you use to help parties move from conflict toward resolution?
My approach to mediation is warm, direct, and solution-oriented. I believe people make better decisions when they feel heard, understand their options, and have a clear path forward. I use a combination of active listening, thoughtful questioning, reality testing, and practical problem-solving to help parties move beyond entrenched positions. I'm comfortable working with strong personalities, complicated emotions, and difficult legal or financial issues. I also know when to slow a conversation down and when to help everyone refocus on the decisions that need to be made. I don't believe mediation should be an endless conversation. My goal is to create an environment where people can communicate productively, consider realistic options, and make meaningful progress toward a durable agreement. Every case is different, and I tailor the process to the people and issues involved.
Without breaching confidentiality, can you share a moment or case in your mediation work that was especially rewarding or that highlighted the strengths of the process?
Some of the most rewarding moments in mediation happen when people who could barely speak to one another at the beginning of the process find themselves working together to solve a problem. I've seen parties arrive convinced that agreement was impossible, only to discover that once they felt heard and understood what was really driving the disagreement, they had more common ground than they realized. What stays with me is the shift in the room when people stop seeing each other as adversaries and begin focusing on what comes next. Those moments remind me why I believe so strongly in mediation. A successful resolution is about more than reaching an agreement. It's about helping people move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.
Have you noticed any trends or shifts in the use of mediation, the types of disputes, or in parties’ expectations in recent years?
I think people are much more comfortable mediating online than they were before COVID. Virtual mediation has made the process more accessible and convenient, particularly for families living in different locations or juggling busy schedules. Another interesting development in family mediation is the growing concern about children's and teenagers' exposure to social media. Parents are increasingly navigating questions about screen time, social media access, privacy, and online safety, particularly when they have different views about appropriate boundaries. These are issues that weren't nearly as prominent in parenting plans even a few years ago. I also see growing interest in using technology and AI to help people prepare for mediation and work through conflict. I believe we're only beginning to see how these tools can support better outcomes for families.
Which skills or qualities do you believe are most essential for a successful mediator, and how have you cultivated them?
Strong listening skills and creative problem-solving are essential qualities of a successful mediator. In addition to my years of experience as an attorney and mediator, raising three sons has taught me a great deal about patience, perspective, and the importance of understanding what really matters to people. One of the keys to resolving conflict is helping people clarify what they want versus what they truly need. When we take the time to unpack those underlying needs, we often discover opportunities for agreement that weren't apparent at the outset. That's where some of the most meaningful progress in mediation happens.
Outside of your professional work, what activities, causes, or passions are important to you?
Outside of work, spending time with family and friends is what matters most to me. I love being outdoors, exploring new places, enjoying great restaurants, and spending time with the people I care about. I'm also an avid reader and love to exercise. Most of all, I value good conversation, good food, and lots of laughter. Staying curious, active, and connected to others makes life richer and more meaningful.